Sunday, August 7, 2011

To Love and Be Loved

I feel so guilty for thinking that the world revolves around me and for judging some people's relationship.
Truth is, 'love' is a feeling that continuously exists and anyone can fall in love to any given person.
So, who am I to judge?

What I'm able to do, anyway, is READ!

So, I'm going to share with everyone some facts about L.O.V.E. (love)
Because love is so unpredictable, let's look at some variables that can be control. The stages of being in love:

(With reference to finding from York psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun)

1) Love always starts with LUST!

So, stop saying words like "you don't love me, it's only lust" because without lust, love will not happen.
During this stage, our BRAIN (the main organ telling you to fall in love, not your HEART, for God sake), is driven by sex hormones, testosterone and oestrogen – in both men and women.

2) Second stage is ATTRACTION:

This is the phase where you starts to think you're going crazy. You keep thinking about your other half and etc.
Well guys, all these are caused by three type of neurotransmitter which are adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.

-  increase your blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol (stress response)
- you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry
 (example: when you touch you partner, you feel like there's some electrical current. It's just the adrenaline rush ya'll)

- increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of relationship.
- I also read in Sebastian Junger's book, WAR, dopamine reward system have higher effect for men compares to women which explains why they are more likely to be obsessed with video games.
(This is the neurotransmitter in your BRAIN that makes you feel you're madly in love. If you don't want to be in love, find a pill that reduces dopamine in your body)

- also known as happiness hormone (though it's not a hormone)
- makes you keep thinking of your partner

3) The last stage is COMMITMENT:

Well, this stage is driven by SEX. Two major hormones contributes to this feeling of attachment which are oxytocin and vasopressin.

- released by men and women during orgasm
- deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another
- the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes (which happen to married couples)
(oxytocin also strengthen the bond with baby and mum.. Amazing now we know how love happens)

- released after sex
- essential for long-term relationship
(without this hormone, your relationship may not last apparently)

If you wonder about something or keep thinking about it, go and read!
Stop living in your world thinking that it's magic.
It's good to KNOW~