To Love and Be Loved

I feel so guilty for thinking that the world revolves around me and for judging some people's relationship.
Truth is, 'love' is a feeling that continuously exists and anyone can fall in love to any given person.
So, who am I to judge?

What I'm able to do, anyway, is READ!

So, I'm going to share with everyone some facts about L.O.V.E. (love)
Because love is so unpredictable, let's look at some variables that can be control. The stages of being in love:

(With reference to finding from York psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun)

1) Love always starts with LUST!

So, stop saying words like "you don't love me, it's only lust" because without lust, love will not happen.

During this stage, our BRAIN (the main organ telling you to fall in love, not your HEART, for God sake), is driven by sex hormones, testosterone and oestrogen – in both men and women.

2) Second stage is ATTRACTION:

This is the phase where you starts to think you're going crazy. You keep thinking about your other half and etc.

Well guys, all these are caused by three type of neurotransmitter which are adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.

ADRENALINE

-  increase your blood levels of adrenalin and cortisol (stress response)

- you start to sweat, your heart races and your mouth goes dry

 (example: when you touch you partner, you feel like there's some electrical current. It's just the adrenaline rush ya'll)

DOPAMINE

- increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of relationship.

- I also read in Sebastian Junger's book, WAR, dopamine reward system have higher effect for men compares to women which explains why they are more likely to be obsessed with video games.

(This is the neurotransmitter in your BRAIN that makes you feel you're madly in love. If you don't want to be in love, find a pill that reduces dopamine in your body)

SEROTONIN

- also known as happiness hormone (though it's not a hormone)

- makes you keep thinking of your partner

3) The last stage is COMMITMENT:

Well, this stage is driven by SEX. Two major hormones contributes to this feeling of attachment which are oxytocin and vasopressin.

 OXYTOCIN

- released by men and women during orgasm

- deepens the feelings of attachment and makes couples feel much closer to one another

- the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes (which happen to married couples)

(oxytocin also strengthen the bond with baby and mum.. Amazing now we know how love happens)

VASOPRESSIN

- released after sex

- essential for long-term relationship

(without this hormone, your relationship may not last apparently)

SO TO ALL LOVEBIRDS OUT THERE, MY ADVICE IS:
If you wonder about something or keep thinking about it, go and read!
Stop living in your world thinking that it's magic.
It's good to KNOW~

Officially Engaged

Been too long since I posted anything out. So, I decided to come back with a BOMB!!
These are photos from my engagement ceremony (my twin got engaged too!):

P/S: can't wait to get married~~

Yahoo! Fantasy

The best point so far :
Gameweek 2

Thinking of You

~ I have to admit that I'm sad and it's hard to accept the fact that everything we built before has shattered to the ground. Lucky me, I have this song to get me going strong. After all, if it's meant to be, it'll work out eventually ~



Christian Kane - Thinking Of You


Well I know they say all good things
Must come to some kind of ending
We were so damn good,
I guess we never stood a chance
Go on and find what you've been missing
When that highways tired of listening
You'll see I'm not that easy to forget

When a new moon shines through your window
Or you hear a sad song on the radio
Then you dont know why but you just start to cry
Or you're driving round on a sunny day
And out of nowhere comes a pouring rain
Then a memory hits you right out of the blue
That's just me
Thinking of you

I'm not gonna try to stop you
Don't mean that I don't want too
If I know you, you've already made up your mind
To go on and go with your rebelieving
But a million miles between us
But you still feel me
like I'm right there at your side

When a new moon shines through your window
Or you hear a sad song on the radio
Then you dont know why but you just start to cry
Or you're driving round on a sunny day
And out of nowhere comes a pouring rain
Then a memory hits you right out of the blue
That's just me
Thinking of you

And I'm thinking about the road you're on
I'm thinking about you coming home
I'm wondering if you got your radio on

When you find your way to another town
And someone tries to lay it down
And a feelin hits you right out of the blue
It's just me
Thinking of you
That's just me
Thinking of you.

Jenny Hibakusha

The Beauty of Misery

I went out one morning at 630am. The most amazing thing I discovered was that this world is a beautiful place. If you ever get the chance to look at what I saw, you’ll have to agree. The sky that morning was so damn beautiful. It was a blend of orange, purple and yellow, shadowed by the still dark-looking tree and the street lights, nothing can beat that beauty. I was flattered that I still had a chance to witness such scenery. How many times in a day do you look up at the sky? That’s the problem with people nowadays; they just don’t bother looking up. They chase after something they barely appreciate, they neglect love and their surroundings for they thought the world revolves only around them. When they are in trouble, they still don’t bother looking up, to ask help from God. They kept whining but not realizing what they’ve been missing. Time to look up to the sky and appreciate beauty of misery!

Real Madrid agree to sign Carvalho

Chelsea defender Ricardo Carvalho will join Real Madrid after both teams announced that a deal was agreed to sign the Portugal international.

"Real Madrid and Chelsea have reached an agreement for the transfer of Ricardo Carvalho," Real said on their website. "The player will be contracted to Real Madrid for the next two seasons."

Chelsea said in a statement on their website that the deal was subject to a medical and Carvalho agreeing personal terms.

"Chelsea would like to thank Riccy for his six years of service, and we wish him well in his future career," the statement added.

The 32-year-old will rejoin his former boss and compatriot Jose Mourinho, who replaced Manuel Pellegrini as Real coach at the end of last season after leading Internazionale to a treble of Champions League and Italian league and cup.

Mourinho took Carvalho with him to Chelsea from Porto following their 2004 Champions League triumph and he has been a near-permanent fixture in the centre of Chelsea's defence over the past six seasons.

During that time, he helped the West London club win three Premier League titles, three FA Cups and two League Cups and was part of the Portugal squad at the World Cup in South Africa last month.

He also joins up with international team mates Pepe and Cristiano Ronaldo at Real.

The Spanish club did not disclose financial details of the deal. Local media reported the fee was 8 million euros (£7m) and said Carvalho had also agreed an option for a third season.

He is Real's fifth addition to the squad since the end of the last campaign following the purchase of winger Angel Di Maria and midfielders Pedro Leon, Sergio Canales and Sami Khedira.

HIRMAN vs JENNY (post-break up evaluation)

HIRMAN

GOOD


   1. Beautiful smile
   2. Always make me laugh
   3. Don’t give a damn ‘bout other ppl bzness
   4. Gives me freedom
   5. Brought the best side of me to myself
   6. Patience
   7. Tolerable
   8. Responsible to other people
   9. Amazing family members (love them)
  10. Amazing friends around him
  11. Something I can’t live without
  12. Adorable
  13. Reliable at some point
  14. Don’t care ‘bout unnecessary stuffs
  15. Simple
  16. Easy-going
  17. Friendly
  18. Didn’t talk much
  19. Care about manner
  20. Real charming
  21. Always there for his friends ;-)
  22. Work hard for what he earned
  23. Able to hide all his feelings
  24. Hates drama
  25. Put his trust in me
  26. Straight-forward
  27. Honest   


BAD


   1. Selfish
   2. Easily give up
   3. So damn cruel
   4. Sleep too much
   5. Make actions without thinking
   6. Always make me cry
   7. Always make me feel guilty
   8. Irresponsible to himself
   9. Always leave me alone
  10. Never said the right thing when he needed to
  11. Out of my reach
  12. Something I never had
  13. Always keep things to himself
  14. Never notice what I did for him
  15. Never appreciate my sacrifices
  16. Never say ‘I can’t live without you’
  17. Always left me assuming
  18. Never imagine being in my shoes
  19. Never say ‘I need you’
  20. Always break or forget his promises
  21. Never think I’m important
  22. Never know how to handle me
  23. Able to do just fine without me
  24. Ignorant
  25. Easily snapped
  26. Couldn’t handle too many problems at once
  27. Took me for granted


**50-50.




JENNY


GOOD


   1. Friendly
   2. Will always be there for him
   3. Accept his weaknesses
   4. Loves him more than herself
   5. Make sacrifices for his happiness
   6. Patient sometimes
   7. Funny
   8. Energetic
   9. Tolerable
  10. Loved by some people closed to him
  11. Never say ‘no’ to whatever he asked for
  12. Independent sometimes
  13. Have a bright future ha-ha
  14. Easily forgiving
  15. Realistic sometimes
  16. Confident    


BAD


   1. Such a cry baby
   2. Attention-seeker
   3. Needy
   4. Clingy at times
   5. Messy
   6. Harsh
   7. Use vulgar words when she’s angry
   8. Nosy
   9. Dark family background
  10. Dark history and past
  11. Tomboyish
  12. Complicated
  13. Talks too much
  14. Asks too much
  15. Annoying
  16. Didn’t understand him when she needed to
  17. Put pressure on him
  18. Immature
  19. Childish
  20. Such a bitch
  21. Difficult to understand
  22. Impossible to handle
  23. Fat
  24. Keeps too many secret
  25. Always forget stuffs
  26. Too dramatic
  27. Too paranoid
  28. Weak
  29. Moody
  30. Unpredictable


**What a drama-queen I was.. I would like to apologize to anyone who got hurt during all the drama I made.. May God bless ya!

WC 2010 and more...

WC 2010 So Far...

WORLD CUP 2010

Two teams I'll be supporting:

PARAGUAY AND JAPAN

White Phosphorus / Willie Pete (WP)

Question On My Mind

The Last Two Weekends

What happen was, i performed at two dinner. The first is for Bio Nite and second is FKE pre-graduation Night...

I'll upload the video to youtube soon
but, here's the pictures
Enjoy!

DEBATE 007 – TH SUPPORTS EMBEDDED JOURNALIST IN TIME OF WAR

DEBATE 007 – TH SUPPORTS EMBEDDED JOURNALIST IN TIME OF WAR
Friday. September 11, 2009


PM – MC G (OG)
Said that supports mean protection. Proposed that embedded journalist needed equal protection as of the soldiers because of the importance of their role in giving out information.

LO – AIN (OO)
Countered that embedded journalists are not needed because of the fact that it is unnecessary to take that risk. Secondly, she argued that people do not need to know about what happen during the war. They only need to know the outcome.

DPM – OJAN (OG)
Talk about how important protection is towards those in need.

DLO – PAEI (OO)
Talked about unnecessary media’s role in battlefield.

MEMBER GOVT – JENNY (CG)
I rebutted that any journalist regardless of what field they are in, took the risk everyday to gather information. Then, I extended the debate in terms of public support whereby without the support of the public, it is impossible for a war to be won. I also differentiate information gathered during the war and post-war information. Secondly, I talked about the value behind sending an embedded journalist to war as it gives an impression towards the public that the government is not keeping secrets of whatever happen during the war. Lastly, I talked about the effect of not sending journalist, that the government will lose support from the public, there’s no volunteers and sponsors.

MEMBER OPT – STIFLER (CO)
Stifler talked about how these journalists are abusing the information they had.

GW – Q (CG)
Q differentiate between the information that are abused during the war and after the war. He argued that regardless of when the information is taken into account, there are always rooms for abuse.

OW – JO (CO)
She talked about how it is morally wrong to give out wrong information to the public.

FEEDBACK (by ZHARIF AND MAKETAB)
The opening government lost because of the wrong idea that they brought forward. Journalists are already protected equally by the soldiers. The closing opposition got third because their extension was not clear. Opening opposition got second because of Ain’s template speech. We won because we touch on the real issue of the debate. The issue in the debate for the side of Government is firstly security of the journalist whereby if they are embedded under the military force then they would likely be more protected. Secondly, having a journalist among soldier would give the soldier a humanized perspective whereby it makes them feel human again after killing people. For the opposition, sending journalist is a burden for the military in order to protect them that they will be morally down if the journalist died under their protection. Secondly, it is a waste of public fund for sending someone over to in the end wrote a biased reporting.

OBSERVERS (MOHAMAD, AERIE, THRONG, MAI AND AHMED)

RANKING
OG – 4TH, OO – 2ND,
CG – 1ST, CO – 3RD
~YEAY~ I GOT FIRST!!!!!

Second Chance

09-09-09
6:45am











If love is red, then I’m color-blind.
If love is a lesson to learn, then I’m the worst student.
And if love is physics, I’ll never graduate.
I have learnt that love is a confusing method to break a heart.
I have been told that love is an experiment to avoid.
But I have found the stronger side of me through falling out of love.
Love can never be seen through naked eyes.
It cannot be understood but can only be felt.
And if you love someone, you are so damn lucky.
I don’t believe in happily ever after.
I don’t believe in second chance.
Once it’s over, there’s no turning back.
But if I took one more step forward.
My whole principle crashes backward.
So I’d rather not be moved.
I’d rather not be given the second chance.
Because love is not red in color.
It is not a subject nor is it a degree course.
But if you’re in love, then you are lucky.
For if you fall out of love then you are not subjected to second chance.

Alone With the Moon Tonight

Ramadhan 15 - Sept 5, 2009


I watched the full moon tonight in a midst of nowhere
I can almost touch it from the reflection in the water spot
Here, the moon still shines so beautiful
With no smoke from the factories
With green trees all over it creating such a scenery
With the sound of streaming rivers and singing frogs
This is a night like no other
I feel so intact with the nature
I can imagine the moon as if it was made of velvet
That I can touch it, hug it and kiss it
It would have been love
But tonight, I’m all alone
There’s no one out there to share this moment with me
Saddening, that something beautiful will only be cherished by a lonesome like me

DEBATE 005 – THBT CANNING UNDER SYARIAH LAW SHOULD BE ABOLISH

Friday. August 28, 2009


PM – STIFLER (OG)
Proposed that canning is redundant and no longer serve the purpose of deterrent. Stated that canning is not align with the content of religion and that the role of punishment is to teach what is right and what is wrong and that by simply punishing, the people won’t truly understands the actual reasoning. Lastly, he stated that physical harm induces fear, not faith.

LO – RAF (OO)
Clarified that canning under syariah law was actually meant for humiliation as a form of deterrent instead of physical harm. She also stated that the Quran states what’s right and wrong. She also said that this is the best form of deterrent as it proved to have decreased the percentage of offenses against religion.

DPM – MC G (OG)
McG came in and said that punishment without education is meaningless and therefore believes that the government should teach the people who committed offenses about faith in religion.

DLO – Q (OO)
Q later on came in with no points but simply rebuttals. However, the best idea from Q is that even if a person do not understand the religion, as long as that person live in Malaysia, and is a muslim, he/she is still subjected to the syariah law in Malaysia therefore regardless of whether education is needed, no one is above the law.

MEMBER GOVT – AERIE
Aerie believes that law evolves from time to time and therefore canning is no longer relevant in this modern world. He also believes that without canning, there is an opportunity for the law to reform as to not simply refer to redundant reference. He also believes that if canning is for the humiliation purpose, then there are a lot of other ways to shame people such as media involvement which would work better.

MEMBER OPT – JO
She believes that the society will accept something as right or wrong the imposition of law.

GW – THRONG
Throng distinguish the syariah and civil law whereby syariah law is only applicable to Muslim and not other religions. He also talked about acceptance of law which could have different interpretation by different subjects. He also said that the government has the accountability as of how the country is beng judged and that by abolishing canning, people perceptions towards the Muslim community would be changed.

OW – MAI
She talked about the justification of canning. She also compares education and physical harm and which is more effective.

FEEDBACK (by PAIE, WANI, ZHARIF, JENNY AND AIN)
This motion should actually analyze the practice of canning under Syariah Law in Malaysia. There is a need to analyze on the different in canning practices under syariah law and civil law whereas under civil law, the whipping is hard, hurtful and definitely extreme while under syariah law, he whipping is merely the same as school students gotten whipped for coming late to school etc. The issue lead this debate is the arbitrary concept of whipping for syariah law which only suppose to practices punishment that is stated by the Quran and whipping is not one of them which explains when looking through the different school of thoughts in Islam where different beliefs existed. Lastly, it is the issue of the image of Muslim country when applying canning viewed by other countries. This is due to the misunderstanding that the canning performed in Malaysia is the same as the Arabs country. Example addressed in the debate is the Kartika case who is a nurse who consumes alcohol and will be canned under syariah law.

OBSERVERS (MOHAMAD, AHMED)

MOST PROBABLE RANKING
OG – 4TH, OO – 2ND, CG – 1ST, CO – 3RD

Liar Lied

I am a liar
I lied so many times
I’ve told a lot of lies
The best part of being a liar
I can tell if someone is lying
When it comes to detecting a liar
It takes one to know one
But the worst part
I have to live a lie
And it hurts everyday
Knowing the fact that liar lies

Entry #5 Philippines and Appreciating

Entry #4 Terengganu and Loneliness

I used to love someone but now he’s dead. I’ve tried to search for him, even in himself, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. I’m confident that this man I love is now dead. It’s funny how you never appreciate what you have and only miss everything when it’s gone. I went to Terengganu in 2007 and I was a complete stranger. I was the only English debater among Malay debaters that I don’t really know. This is when I start to learn the art of surviving especially when I left my hand phone at home. Being somewhere 12 hour’s away drive from home without being able to communicate with people who are closed to you, that were painful. And there he was, this man I love, tried every possible way he could to be in touch with me. I was ashamed that I was being controlled by him in front of everyone. I started thinking about freedom, living without him. But then, I was wrong. I just want to go home, to meet him and fall into his arms. The freedom I thought of living can actually be defined as loneliness. If I was able to see things clearer, maybe then I’ll realize that I can never live without him. But still, I learned to survive. I make friends. I bathe at a non-bathing zone. I drove a car through zig zag roads and I made it to Batu Burok all the way from Dungun. I met my ex-classmate. I judge every round. I even met new people, including my current boyfriend. I judge the final. I chose the winning team and I made it out of there being someone new. I even had the funniest joke preyed upon me. They bought me a bubble phone for kids to joke on how much I miss my hand phone. Truth is, I miss him, the man I love. But there’s no use is remembering the feelings because he is dead. He won’t be coming back. Even if I am lying to myself every day, I’m closer to happiness than he’ll ever be. The only thing I can do is learn from this. To be aware of your true feelings took more than just a thought. It took courage, self-confidence and faith.

Coming up next: Philippines and Appreciating